I have mixed feelings before i enter the ward
Sudden feeling of sadness, lost and emptiness swept over me
It was the same feeling on 160707
the day i will never forget in my entire life
The moment i saw your grandma
i felt bit of relief
i felt that you were around somehow
grandma is fine
she has fallen and hurt her hip
no infections or surgeries were needed, only a certain type of corset might be needed to support her body
she is in fact very healthy
she has strong bones, strong teeth and even sharp memory
sharper than mine
i looked around and i saw similar or even slightly elderly women around
some were in deep pain and some were having dementia
in comparison, grandma is really much healthier and stronger than any of these women
but the motivation to continue on is weaker than any of them
you were her only hope to continue on
now that you are gone..she felt nothingness
i could see the emptiness in her stare
the same emptiness i felt or even i feel until today
empty and hollow and gloomy
I have really learn a lot since your demise
I see the beauty of some people who were so supportive and so concern
and i also see the not-so-beautiful side of some
i guess this is life and nature of human
there will be no perfection in life
I am surprised that i started to see things and problems as trivial matters
the things that usually triggers my nerve
has little significance effect to me now
what else could be more important than life or death matter?
good change or bad change?am not too sure
Yesterday, Yin Ping, Ah How, Mei Han and I visited May Yee's "ling wai" at Kuan Yin Temple, Ampang for her birthday.
He exact birthday is tomorrow, 11th Dec.
I miss the time when we all gather around nice ambiance restaurant to celebrate birthday
i really miss the time
i really miss you
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you and your baby
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